We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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