Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I intend to get homeless drunk
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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