when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
