i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
not ubering you a puppy
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize