Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize