chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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