At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
