What did we do last night that was yellow?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
