I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
What a dumb baby whore.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
