My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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