I bet he comes in French.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
