Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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