i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
