last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it hurts more in the daytime
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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