Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
