Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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