sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
