then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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