Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
