awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
