iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My dick has a subreddit
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
