new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
