I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
