I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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