Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
