You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize