as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
