Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
