You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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