So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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