is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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