everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
