my phone cant type all the emotion im having
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize