WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
