Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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