let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
