Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
