I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm really busy with my period
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