All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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