hotel room ftw
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
