Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
