when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
