I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
