new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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