Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Be still, my beating vagina.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
