i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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