I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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