No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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