The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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