so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
