I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
