If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just invented taco cereal.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
