at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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