Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize