so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
