im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
