I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
