i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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