Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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