this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
