Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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