Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Text me some of your sweat
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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