i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
